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Instead, I want to talk about Luck.

I started thinking about the beliefs associated with the celebration. If I were to stereotype Chinese people, I would say we have an incredibly superstitious culture.

We have beliefs about certain numbers, dates, colours, daily practices, types of food, words and pretty much anything you can think of. Depending on what they are, it will either bring you good luck or give you bad luck.

From planning to give birth/get married/engaged on a particular date…to ordering an even number of dishes at a restaurant, there is A LOT of thought that goes into every decision a Chinese person makes, depending on how superstitious they are.

I would say my parents are moderately superstitious. They pick and choose what they want to believe in and tried their best to get my sisters and me to believe in them.

My mom likes to follow the ones that prevent bad spirits and the ones that are associated with good health and long life. She’s obsessed with being healthy and of course, all her Chinese medicine stuff.

My dad’s a traditionalist (obedient son) so he practices the ones his parents taught him when he was a kid. He would follow ones that involve Feng Shui, food, cleaning and those that were based on social statuses like giving red envelopes to unmarried friends/family and children.

So what do I follow?

Well, this whole luck thing is one of the Chinese traditions that I don’t believe in.

Although I appreciate them and will teach my daughter some of them, I don’t think by doing or not doing arbitrary things will change my future.

I often get irritated when others see my life and tell me how lucky I am. I think this quote that I saw on my Instagram feed puts it nicely:

“I am not lucky. You know what I am? I am smart, I am talented, I take advantage of the opportunities that come my way and I work really, really hard. Don’t call me lucky. Call me a badass.”

Shonda Rhimes

I believe that intentionally doing things that will get me closer to my goals will lead to great things happening to me.

Ultimately, I can have whatever I want if I put in the effort.

It’s called life and it’s messy.

I think this superstitious culture makes it seem like our lives are out of our control.

Like if we go against these rules, there’s an outside force that will make our lives miserable.

However, isn’t it possible for someone to live their life, following every superstition and die without being granted their fortune?

These superstitious beliefs make us powerless to control our destiny.

I like to believe that I have control over my life and know I can change its direction when it’s not going my way.

The power is within me and I am in control of my own happiness.

If I’m not happy with how my life is going, it’s not because I washed my hair on New Year’s Day or because someone wore black to my wedding. I can change my reality, setting goals and working my ass off to get there.

Speaking of bringing bad luck to others…

There are some Chinese people (usually the older generation) who will be offended if those around them don’t follow these rules.

Doesn’t that perpetuate a blaming mindset, shifting the ownership of someone’s happiness onto someone else?

I’m not even going to start on all the superstitions involved with planning a wedding and the family drama, blood, sweat, and tears that happen when negotiating which ones to follow or not.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate my Chinese culture and I value learning and preserving some of these superstitions.

I will teach my daughter when she’s old enough to understand and share with her the ones my parents tried to instill in me.

But at the end of the day, I think it’s about practicing them to preserve the Chinese culture rather than having it dictate how we live our life, expecting to reap rewards.