How can we overcome our insecurities? First, we must define what security means to us.
It’s hard for anyone to be completely secure with themselves but once we know what to aim for, it’s easier to set goals, create plans and adopt habits to change. We can overcome and/or manage our insecurities by defining what security means for us. Having the end in mind makes the little steps we take to get there more palatable.
When someone is secure with themselves, they’ll exhibit these 6 signs. These are behaviours that I am currently striving for and I hope they’ll inspire you to think deeply about.
So what does security look like?
1. Knowing you have enough money to pay for your groceries
When you go to the supermarket, it’s having the self-assurance that you don’t need to check your bank account before going in. It’s knowing you have enough money to buy the things you need, to feed yourself and your family.
You don’t worry about being able to afford food on the table. You have the financial security to meet the basic human needs to nourish your body.
2. Openly telling a loved one you are upset
A second sign that shows you are a secure person is being able to openly tell a loved one that you’re upset about something. You focus on your emotions and how that something made you feel. You don’t keep it inside and you can express yourself without holding back, no filters, just keeping it raw and real.
3. Freely sharing your successes and failures
However, talking about your achievements, successes, and wins freely without feeling like you need to downplay them is another sign of security. You don’t humblebrag. You don’t fear others will perceive you as a despicable, arrogant asshole. You don’t give credit to others before yourself about something you completely did by yourself. You own it because you are good. Because you believe you are great. Because you are fucking awesome.
On the flip side, freely talking about your failures and what you learned from them is also a behaviour secure people do. You own your mistakes and you aren’t afraid of showing vulnerability. You take what you get in life and you make something out of it. You don’t mind others knowing the struggles you’ve overcome or are currently dealing with because you are secure that you will pull through.
4. Not checking your phone when your day is done
You’re done for the day and it’s time to turn off, you’re able to step away from your phone and leave it there until the day starts again. You don’t have a fear of missing out because you are secure and confident that you’ve done everything you possibly need to do and things can wait until tomorrow. You’re not worried about what will happen when you go to sleep.
You can comfortably disconnect from your virtual self and focus on your reality. You can live in the physical world without the urge to check in, paying attention to the presence of the people who surround you.
5. Asking questions without fear of looking stupid
You know in school when the teacher tells their students,
“Any questions?”
And no one says anything so they try and encourage them by saying,
“There are no stupid questions.” ?
It’s owning that and confidently asking questions that you have in your head without fear of what others think. It’s knowing that when you ask, you may also be asking the same question that someone else has, helping them get the answers they need. If you don’t ask, you shut down the entire opportunity to learn something you never knew before.
It’s about continuously staying curious and questioning about the world, seeking new truths, ideas and opinions with an unquenchable desire to learn and grow.
6. Not feeling envious about others’ successes
Lastly, security means truly feeling happy and wanting to celebrate whenever your friends or peers do well. You’re not comparing where they’re at with where you’re at.
It’s genuinely wanting to see the people around you to succeed and when they do, their joy is also your joy. It’s having the mindset that a rising tide lifts all boats.
7. Having boundaries and keeping them
A bonus one that I think we tend to forget, especially when you’re a writer, starting a business/side hustle. You feel obligated to please others, taking advantage of every opportunity you get.
You’re not high strung if you have boundaries. It just means you’re a secure person who knows the value of their time. You have the courage to say yes when you mean it and to say no without guilt.
So Readers, what does security mean to you? Which signs resonate with you?
