EPISODE 15: WHEN YOU’RE A WOMAN AND YOU GET LABELED A “B*TCH”
Ladies, have you ever been in a public location (like waiting for the bus, buying groceries or getting your fix at Starbucks) and a man comes up to you and tells you to smile?
Like he says,
“Turn that frown upside down!”
“You’d be prettier with a smile”
It’s happened to me a few times. It sometimes came from grandpas and I thought it was endearing like he was trying to cheer me up. I didn’t think much of it when I was younger until a few years ago when I started hearing the term RBF (Resting Bitch Face).
At first, I thought it was a pretty funny term.
I mean yes, I do often see women in public who have that type of face and now there’s a term for it.
But then I started really thinking about it.
What is the intention behind the term?
Like women are supposed to have this constant smile on their face?
Because women should always come across as cheerful, gentle, polite, pleasant, kind, warm, supportive…basically a beam of light?
I am obviously a feminist. I’ve been one since I could remember.
I have another value which is about happiness and positive energy.
There was a study that showed how smiling can have an effect on our emotions.
As in, if I put a smile on, I will actually start to feel better inside even if I started the day feeling like shit. I live this mantra as much as a can.
If I’m having a shit day, I try my best to face the world with positivity and good energy.
So back to my RBF topic. A large part of me feels that the term is derogatory and that a woman should have the choice to put whatever face she wants on.
And if it happens to look sour or negative, that is HER choice and we shouldn’t label it or make jest about her facial features.
Let’s leave these women alone, stop judging them, letting them deal with their issues as they see fit.
We all have good and bad days.
Let’s do less labelling and assuming and more asking and listening.
If we all keep our minds open instead of jumping to a conclusion about another person (like labeling she’s a bitch because she’s got a look of disgust), we may learn more about ourselves in the long run, and the smiles will soon become natural.
So the next time I see someone who looks depleted, I will smile at them and ask,
“How’s your day going?”
Have you ever been told you have RBF?
Leave in the comments below.
If you have any ideas for topics you’d like me to talk about, let me know below!
