His little face crumpled. I knew I had to do something differently next time.
The other day at camp pick-up, my kindergartener didn’t want to leave.
He had swim lessons, but all he wanted was to stay and play. So he threw a tantrum — big feelings, big stomps, and yelling that he hated swimming and wanted me to cancel it.
“I want to skip it! You never let me do anything I want! I hate you, mommy. You are the worst mommy ever. You’ve ruined my life!”
And you know what?
I lost it.
I was already tired. I’d been running around all day, juggling a dozen things. And instead of being the calm, supportive mom I want to be, I raised my voice and told him:
“You’d better do as I say or else.”
In a voice I didn’t recognize. I sounded like my dad. One that made his little face shatter.
His body stiffened, his lips quivered, but he put on his swim trunks and we went.
I felt awful. So while he swam, I went to the gym. I moved my body. I breathed. I sweated it out. I felt the anger leave, slowly dissipating from my core. And I started to feel like me again. I felt better.
That night, after dinner, I sat him down and apologized. I told him I shouldn’t have raised my voice and that it must have felt scary. I said it’s okay for us to feel this way, but we need to learn how to express them in ways that don’t hurt others. I’m going to try harder next time, and we agreed we will work on it together.
Anger is one of those emotions that we’re taught to fear, avoid, or bury. But once we bottle it up, it only hurts us more. We grew up with people yelling, screaming, hitting and doing terrible things to manage anger. So we don’t have any other tools to deal with it.
In my newest journal, 60 More Feelings to Feel, I devoted an entire section just to anger, because it deserves space.
In the Anger Tips section, you’ll learn:
- Why anger isn’t inherently bad — it’s a sign that something needs attention
- How to notice where it shows up in your body before it erupts
- What to do in the moment when you feel like you might explode
- How to process the aftermath with self-compassion, not shame
- How to separate the anger from the person (like your child, partner, or friend) so it doesn’t define your connection
If you’ve ever yelled and immediately regretted it…
If you’ve ever felt like your anger came out of nowhere…
If you’re trying to break the cycle of what anger looked like in your home growing up…
This journal is for you.
Get your copy of 60 More Feelings to Feel
You don’t have to be perfect.
You don’t need to stop yelling.
But you can build more awareness, clarity, and control — one feeling at a time.
With care,
Katharine
