When you weren't raised to name your emotions, avoiding them becomes second nature.
Sometimes I still find myself annoyed that I’m not better at letting things go. I think, “You know better by now. You’ve done the work. Why does this still bother you?”
But then I remember: growth doesn’t mean we never get triggered — it just means we’re learning not to shame ourselves when we do.
Here’s a belief I’ve been slowly unlearning:
“If a friend offends you, don’t speak up. Be chill. Smile through it. Complain later. But never confront.”
I know this one well.
Because I’ve lived it.
I’ve been the one who gets quiet when something hurts. Not because I’m above it, but because I don’t always know how to name what I’m feeling. My brain goes blank. My mouth stays shut. I start overthinking every possible reaction.
And then, later, when it’s safe, I vent.
Or spiral.
Or try to convince myself it wasn’t that big of a deal.
It’s not that I’m passive-aggressive — it’s that no one ever taught me how to be direct without being destructive.
What I really needed was language.
Not just “mad” or “hurt.” But disrespected. Disregarded. Invalidated. Ashamed. Confused.
Because once I could name it, I could ride it like a wave instead of drowning in it.
That’s why I created 60 Feelings To Feel: A Journal To Identify Your Emotions.
It’s made for people like me — and maybe like you — who didn’t grow up learning how to talk about what they were feeling in the moment. People who were told to “calm down,” “be nice,” or “don’t be so sensitive,” instead of “let’s explore what’s going on in your body right now.”
Inside, you’ll find:
60 clear, compassionate definitions of complex emotions
Space to track your physical reactions and memories
Gentle invitations to reflect, draw, write, or simply sit with your feelings
A chance to build your emotional vocabulary — so your responses can finally catch up to your awareness
If you’re ready to stop bottling up your feelings and start actually understanding them, grab your copy of the journal here.
You deserve to feel and be heard, especially by yourself.
Until next time,
Katharine
