Hello again...
So it’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post here…like December 2023. I’m back(ish). 2024 was full of life changes.
We sold our home. We bought a new one. We moved a block away, but that was still intensely chaotic, especially when renovations are involved…sigh. My youngest is finishing kindergarten. My oldest has grown a strong critical and analytical lens, questioning the meaning of everything from life to death. My marriage went through hell and back. I have very visible grey hairs, and more are coming as per my genes.
I wrote, wrote and wrote for clients. I submitted invoices. I kept track of my expenses. I did my bookkeeping. I paid my taxes. I produced, created and earned.
I’m inching closer to 40 each day and I’m freaking excited. 40 feels right. I’m learning a ton about perimenopause. I’m lifting heavy. I’m doing Pilates. I’m packing protein. I’m pickling my own veggies (and eating them). I’m focused on gut health like a stereotypical Millennial.
It’s easy to sum up each part of our life into short sentences. I did a thing. Then I did another thing. It’s harder to expand on these. I’ve been focused on checking off the to-do lists and dealing with the problems day-to-day.
Then something new (and sh*tty) happens, like cracking my tooth. Or suddenly realizing my mom and I are not as close as I had believed. Or having two big clients suddenly have to stop their work with me because of budget cuts (and just like that, my revenue is halved). These moments of adversity bring out the old beliefs I thought I had shed. They’re like mini rusty anchors with demonic voices pulling me back.
“You’re not good enough.
“You suck.”
“You don’t have what it takes.”
Writing has always been my tool for processing emotions, thoughts and experiences. I want to get back to my roots. I need to find my grounding. I have this deepening urge to tell authentic stories again.
So for the next while, I’m going to deconstruct an old belief with you, share a little story and try to break off those anchors, one at a time. I’m hoping the more I talk about them, the less their grip controls me. I hope you stick around.
Until next time,
Katharine
