When you have a product you believe in, it makes it easier.
I‘m like the Asian mom version of Mr. Money Moustache
Growing up with Chinese immigrant parents, I had to learn and appreciate the value of a dollar. My mom would get down to business whenever the flyers were delivered, enlisting our help to find the best deals.
Found a coupon for shampoo? Clip that baby out!
Also, being the youngest of 3 daughters meant I got all the hand me downs. From toys, makeup, jewellery, hair accessories, bags, clothes and shoes, I didn’t care much about getting new stuff. A pair of Mavi jeans that my sister wore twice and didn’t like anymore became a treasure in my closet. I’d wear them until there were holes in the butt.
Now as a parent myself, I’ve inherited my parents’ frugality even though I have the wiggle room to spend a little more frivolously.
I don’t buy a lot of stuff and it’s hard for salespeople to “sell me” on things.
“Ma’am, would you like to add 75 cents for a dipping sauce?”
“No thanks! I’ve got hot sauce at home. The pizza* was a splurge already.”
*(FYI: a homemade pizza with your own dough and toppings is the best-tasting pizza you’ll ever have)
A lot of the times when I do whip out my credit card, it’s for things I need. I’ll often go through this decision tree in my head, every time I make a purchase.
Is it a necessity like pads, toilet paper, rice?
Yes? Buy it, on sale unless you absolutely need it.
No? Will the thing give you joy?
Yes? Why do I want it?
Is the thing expensive?
If yes, is the amount of stress that is required to buy this thing outweigh the amount of joy I will feel owning it?
If not, how long will that joy last? More than a year?
If yes, then buy it.
Most often, by the time I reach the end of this decision tree, I’ve already paid for my existing necessary items and am walking to my car.
My lack of online shopping experience
As for online shopping, I’m a rusty old nail because the number of choices overwhelms me. Just the other day, my husband gave me a Children’s Place gift card and told me to practice my online shopping skills. I rolled my eyes.
I do not enjoy researching products even though I’m a mom (stereotypically, they’re good at these sorts of things). I’d like to consider myself a no-frills level consumer (compared to the fast-paced, Amazon aficionados who research the depth of the Mariana Trench in the sea of diapers). The main reason I don’t enjoy it is that nowadays people have a ridiculous number of choices. The more choices there are, the more likely my eyes will glaze over and I’ll sink into overanalysis paralysis, where the process of making a decision overwhelms, takes over and I freeze.
Yeah, no need to tell me it comes in black, blue, pink, the colour of golden sunshine or asparagus urine. Customization stresses me out.
What if I choose the wrong shape, texture, colour, size?
And what is considered wrong nowadays?
My sales experience
I’ve had two sales jobs in my lifetime (so far), both were NOT commission-based.
The first was as a barista at a local coffee shop. I was in high school and I loved this job because I enjoyed the transaction and people watching. A customer comes in, they know what the want, you ring them in and then hand them a nice, hot beverage. They might stay and enjoy it or they’re off to work or whatever adventure they’re on. There were the regulars; some would overshare what’s going on in their lives and others wouldn’t say a thing. We’d get tips but it was split amongst the team based on the hours we worked. I liked that because there was no pressure for me to sell folks on an extra muffin or scone that they probably shouldn’t be having anyway.
The second was as a sales associate at a Nutrition House (a supplement store). I learned a lot about alternative medicine, something that didn’t get taught during my Undergrad studies in Biomedical Physiology and Kinesiology. There were products I absolutely believed in but for the majority, I felt they were a waste of money. Again, this wasn’t a commission-based job so I stuck around for about year; however, I just couldn’t justify selling expensive weight-loss pills to overweight, middle-aged women without telling them that it’s basically caffeine.
Even though I have these experiences, I rarely go out and buy a cup coffee and I buy the few supplements that I do take from Costco. And the underlying theme that I learned about myself is that I don’t like to make money by asking people to buy something I didn’t believe in (and there are many products I don’t purchase myself).
So after my grad studies, I went and worked for the government (Right…because that doesn’t involve selling things you don’t believe in…anyway…)
Then I wrote some books and I had to dust off my selling skills
So jump forward to becoming a blogger and now an author of 3 books. I needed to sell my books, promote them, tell people about them, get them to resonate with my message and story and then, take their precious hard-earned dollars out of their wallets to spend on me.
It’s the right thing to do but I dreaded it. It became one of those things you know you should do but you don’t want to do them.
For instance, household chores, laundry, putting the dishes away, wiping the counters, cleaning the sink, toilets, bathtub.
Or from a health perspective: working out, eating right, drinking water, going to bed early etc.
And I clumped selling my books into that category.
I can create and create and create until the cows come home…but will people know about it?
Here’s the thing…
Are there days you just want to create, record, write and produce?
Not marketing, not promoting, not selling, not networking…just in your space, putting your skills to work and seeing the beauty you can contribute to society?
Don’t we all wish we could just do exactly what we want and get paid for it?
In some ways that is possible…but being a realistic optimist, I believe there will always be things we don’t want to do.
Personally, I like creating. I like writing, recording, making stuff. I can make all the things in the world, all the books, courses, videos, blogs, podcast episodes, articles, worksheets, infographics, but if no one can see them, hear them, read them and/or are exposed to them…how will I make a living?
“If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?”
So I have to market, sell, promote and network to get my voice heard. These are things I struggle with.
Making things aesthetically pleasing isn’t one of my fortes. I’m one of those take or leave it type of people.
“Here it is, want it or not? I don’t care.”
That’s not a good attitude because, in order for something to catch a person’s attention and become interested, it needs to look good, to be visually appealing. Even myself, when I scroll through my social media feeds, if I see something pretty and set up nicely (whether it’s food, jewelry, clothing etc.), it catches my eye compared to a photo that was casually done (the raw form with poor lighting).
When I published these books, I was like,
“Okay, great. I did it! Now what?”
“Oh right, I have to do something I don’t want to do.”
If I have to do something I don’t like doing but I know I have to do it, then I’m going to do as authentically as possible, in a way that fits my style, values, beliefs and priorities.
For instance, if you’re someone who hates working out and you only see it as going to the gym and it’s like a prison sentence…then you can take it outside, workout at home, find enjoyable ways to move your body without it being a fixed idea of exercise is.
So how am I selling, marketing, promoting in a way that is authentic to me?
My bottom line message and mantra that I believe in is that if people enjoy and resonate with the way I write, the way I tell my stories, the way I convey a message, the sentence structure, words, paragraphs, and how it all strings together thus far…then when I make my ask, they will absolutely find value in my books.
I’m going to reference Gary Vee here: I’ve jabbed enough for them to trust me and now I can give them my right hook
Whether it’s about dating, marriage, relationships or how to deal with Asian parents, those are topics that are close to my heart. I put my blood, sweat and tears into this work and whenever I’m talking to folks about my books, the first reaction they give me is,
“You’re very passionate about this.”
I value value (I think my readers do too)
I’m one of those people who believes that if I’m going to put my money towards something, I want to get what I put in. If I’m paying 20 dollars for a burger at a restaurant, then I better get an experience that is worth 20 bucks.
I want to offer value for the money folks are going to spend on me.
My worst nightmare would be for someone to buy my book and don’t get what they expect. Perhaps they’re expecting a certain way that I’ve presented myself and then they read the book and it’s not at all the same. They may not agree with some of the things I write, possibly even everything; but if it completely blindsides them about who I am then that would really upset me.
Everything that I’ve created and put out there is in the exact same way that I am in my books. I’m consistently authentic in how I communicate. And that gives me comfort and reassurance that the customer will get what they’re expecting (and hopefully, exceed).
Having that in the back of my head gives me the courage and confidence to sell, to ask my audience to pay for a product that I believe in, with the presumption that it’s also what they believe in.
I believe in what I’m selling
Because let’s be brutally honest, which is my style (real, raw, and honest, straight-up and straight to the point), the topics that I cover aren’t unique. The problems that I’m hoping to help resolve are very common.
People have had poor marriages ever since the institution of marriage existed for centuries.
Dating and courtship issues have been documented probably even before Shakespeare wrote about them.
Lastly, every human being on earth has parents; that strained relationship is as old as time, going across all generations, regardless of whether they’re Asian or not (Hamlet anyone?).
With common issues come common solutions. There are thousands if not, millions of resources you can find online, at this moment, at your fingertips, for free on how to solve these issues.
Therefore, I’m not the only person in the world who has given advice and shared their stories on improving a marriage, dating, finding a life partner and/or having a better relationship with their parents.
My story is unique to me and it will resonate with those who resonate with my voice
However, the ONE THING I can offer my customers is my voice, sharing stories, showing vulnerability, expressing my vision, all in my own unique and authentic way.
It’s my personality, my background, my style that provides the flavour to these solutions.
Everyone may hear the same piece of advice over and over again, but it’s not until they hear the RIGHT voice that it gets through to them. And so my hope is that my voice is the right voice for those consuming my content.
What makes selling easier for me is knowing that what I’m selling will help them as it has helped me.
I picture this whenever I’m selling:
When someone buys my books and read my words, it will serve as the catalyst that makes them take the first step to change, to have a realization in life that they never had before (those aha moments and insights), to get a sense of belonging in relating to my stories (that they’re not alone), to feel good about moving forward, and to be empowered to control and create the destiny they want.
So Readers, what works for you when you’re selling?
