3 SIGNS TO LOOK FOR WHEN MAKING NEW FRIENDS TO AVOID MAKING TOXIC ONES

How do you make sure you make great friends instead of toxic ones?

Here are 3 signs to look for when making new friends. 

1. Look For Drama-Free Friends

When I make friends, I like to look for someone who is drama-free.

What does drama-free mean?

A person who is drama-free does NOT mean someone who does not have problems or someone who is always happy or stress-free or calm.

Everyone has issues.

Drama-free means someone who is completely confident and secure with themselves to express their emotions and problems in a mature way.

They don’t constantly lean on you, addicted to our support and depend on you for their self-worth.

They don’t constantly talk shit about themselves fishing for compliments.

They DO NOT project their own issues onto others by spreading rumours or gossip about them as a way to make themselves feel better.

When they talk about their friends, they come from a place of good intentions.

For instance, if they talk to you about a conflict they had with their friend, they talk about it in a mature manner.

They do not bait you into trash talk especially if you are also friends with this other person.

Their expected outcome of the conversation is to have their emotions validated with a sense of clarity about what happened and perhaps a plan to help bridge the gap in their friendship.

How they talk about their friends and how they interact with them indicates how they’re going to be with you.

2. Avoid Passive Aggressive Bait Droppers

I hate passive aggressive bait droppers.

WTF are those?

Let me give you an example:

“Oh did you hear about Shelly and Janice? I heard they got into a fight about Shelly’s flakiness. I think Janice totally overreacted. But maybe she’s extra sensitive because I heard her husband lost his job. Did you know that?”

“Shelly’s never been flaky to me so I don’t know what Janice is talking about. But I heard that Shelly flirted with Janice’s ex at the wedding. Did you know that?”

“So now no one is talking to Janice now except me. It’s like I’m the neutral person that everyone goes to. It’s probably because I’m so oblivious about these things. Have you heard anything? What do you think about Shelly and Janice?”

Those are the people who love being the special person who tells all the gossipy stories and knows all the ins and outs of everyone’s lives and spread that shit like napalm.

They’ll act like they don’t know anything about anyone, downplaying how connected they really are (Oh I haven’t seen so and so forever) but they actually do.

And when they start their fucking stories, they’ll bait you into talking shit about other people which in turn, fuels their fire.

Don’t become friends with these people. Trust me, I’ve been burned (another story, another time).

3. Avoid Flaky Friends

I think this one is a pretty obvious one and hopefully, if you’re around my age you would have learned that in your 20’s.

You make plans, they cancel last minute.

You make plans again, they cancel again.

Strike three and they’re out.

Don’t waste my time because I don’t have a lot of that.

Check out my other posts on toxic friendships:

Part 1: How To Recognize a Toxic Friend: The First Thing You Need To Do

Part 2: How To Avoid Becoming A Toxic Friend So You Don’t Lose Friendships 

So Readers, what are some things you look for when making new friends?

Leave in the comments below.

If you have any ideas for topics you’d like me to talk about, leave in the comments below.