An interview with Hoang Samuelson Writer. Mom. Expert coffee drinker. Early riser. She writes about money, culture, work and families www.lilyplusjames.com
The other day, I was googling “Asian parents,” gathering ideas for blog ideas, when I stumbled upon a wonderfully written article in Medium, titled, “What it’s like to grow up with Asian parents.”
In the article, the writer and fellow Asian mom blogger, Hoang Samuelson shares her story about how she felt a lot of pressure to do well in school and that Asian parents tend to focus a lot on money as the status symbol.
Given how much I’ve written about Asian parent expectations, I immediately resonated with Hoang’s words and reached out for an interview.
1. What inspired you to start Lily + James?
I actually started a few other blogs before I started Lily + James. Food, photography and personal finance were all the things that I was interested in, and still, am, and I even had another parenting blog for a while, but I didn’t keep up with that.
Honestly, when I decided to name my blog after my kids, I didn’t really have a focus – I knew that parenthood is something that I have the most knowledge in, and can talk about, but as I said, there were other things I was interested in as well.
I’m still trying to figure out what my niche is.
Mainly, I wanted to be able to connect with parents who are like me, because I feel that around me, where I live, there aren’t that many people my age who are on the same journey as I am.
Many are much older parents, and much more upper middle class, or they’re just not having kids at all.
2. Growing up with Asian Parents, what are some things that they taught you that you value? What are some things (if any) that you struggle to accept?
Asian parents are a different species of their own, I think. I have to say – I am VERY glad to grow up Asian, to be able to spend the first ten years of my life in Vietnam.
My parents weren’t the most educated people, but they instilled the importance of education, which I still believe in today. They also showed me the importance of community and social connections.
My dad was very involved in our church. He did a lot of volunteering and gave away his money, even though we didn’t have a lot.
My mom worked a lot (she was a working mom in a time when it wasn’t very acceptable to do so) so she wasn’t around very much during my childhood, but I understand that it was out of necessity.
Both of my parents taught me about self-sufficiency and independence, something I strive to teach my kids.
3. On the topic of mothers and daughters, how would you describe your relationship with your mom? How is that similar/different to the relationship you have with your daughter?
My relationship with my mom is completely different than my relationship with my daughter.
As you may have read from a previous post of mine, we don’t say things like “I love you” or anything like that, whereas my daughter is all about the words. She displays love to me all the time.
My mom and I are not the types of people who would hang out together just for fun, like getting our nails done (she’s not that kind of person) or going shopping, but my daughter enjoys one-on-one time with me, so I try to take her out at least once a week.
My mom comes over a few times a week though, and she takes my daughter to church on most Sundays, so I try to let them have their time too.
4. Lastly, what are your 3 core values?
I definitely value independence, ambition and honesty. I don’t know where I would be without these things.
My parents taught me to be ambitious and independent (although I think I was already the kind of kid who would prefer to do things on her own).
As for honesty, that’s just something that is part of a religious upbringing. There’s a lot of media backlash about the sexual abuse in the Catholic churches, but for me, I didn’t really experience any of those things or heard anything in my community directly.
The topic of shame can be reserved for another day, but in general, honesty is something I admire along with independence and ambitiousness.
The strive to do better, to figure things out by yourself along with the humility to admit your mistakes if you’ve made them is the cornerstone of a good person to me.
You can follow Hoang’s journey:
