Helping my parents with one form almost made me lose my cool… but I didn't.
Recently, I was helping my mom fill out some medical paperwork. Simple task, right?
Wrong.
Because the form was in my dad’s email. And they use his email address even though she has one because she never checks hers.
He wanted me to fill it out on his tablet, but the tablet wasn’t working properly. So I told him, “Let’s just print it out and fill it in the old-school way.”
But that suggestion?
Unacceptable to him.
He got frustrated. Snappy. Insisted I figure it out his way.
I asked him to log into his email on the desktop.
He couldn’t find the email.
I offered to help — he refused to let me take over.
And in my head, I’m screaming: “Just LET me do it!”
Eventually, he figured it out, and we printed the form.
I sat with my mom to fill it out…
…and he kept butting in. Trying to answer for her.
He didn’t trust that I could translate.
Finally, I looked at him, held my pen mid-air, and calmly gave him three options:
1. Leave the room.
2. Stay and be silent.
3. Or I stop helping.
He chose silence.
And kept it together.
It was exhausting.
Annoying.
Frustrating.
I was getting irritated. But I didn’t blow up.
Because I knew what was behind his behavior.
My dad wasn’t just being difficult — he was feeling inadequate. He didn’t want to admit he didn’t know how to scan and email an attachment. He doesn’t like asking for help, especially from his kids. He was frustrated with himself, but it showed up as anger toward me.
This is why I wrote How to Deal with Asian Parents
Because our parents aren’t always easy.
Because cultural expectations, generational trauma, and ego can get in the way.
Because some of us were raised by people who didn’t know how to say “I love you” — only “Did you eat?”
In this honest and relatable book, I walk you through 5 key steps to help you:
- Understand why this relationship matters (even when it’s hard)
- Figure out what and how to talk to your parents
- Know when to set boundaries — and when to let go
- Accept your parents for who they are without losing yourself
- And finally… accept yourself
I share real stories — just like the one above — and give you practical ways to start shifting your relationship with your parents, even if they never change.
Grab your copy of How to Deal with Asian Parents
Because no, you’re not crazy.
Yes, it’s really that hard sometimes.
But you’re not alone.
Let’s break cycles — one frustrating form, family dinner, or phone call at a time.
With you,
Katharine
