9 Asian Female Stereotypes That Need To Die (4-minute read)

Why not both?

I wish this meant I having both soft and hard tacos but instead it’s experiencing both sexism and racism as an Asian woman. It’s like if I’m not being discriminated against for being a woman, then I’m being discriminated against for being an Asian. 

And if it’s not that, there’s a third category where race and gender come together into a mixed bag of shit, from subtle to blatant, the worst of both worlds. And that shit needs to die. 

So here are 9 Asian female stereotypes that need to die:

1. I don’t have “white fever”

Maybe you see a lot of couples where it’s an Asian woman with a white man so you assume I’m one of those too? I’m not. I’m happily married to an Asian man and we have 2 wonderful kids. 

Even if I was married to a white person, it doesn’t mean I’m with him because I’m a self-loathing white worshipper or that I hate Asian men.

The stereotype that all Asian women go gaga for white men creates a harmful belief that Asians are an inferior race and need to be washed of their culture through eugenics.

I married an Asian man, not because of racial purity or to prevent “cultural genocide” but rather it was of a simple, tried-and-true concept called love.

2. I’m not a materialistic gold digger

Contrary to how some Asian women are portrayed in the media, I don’t desire a man to spend thousands and thousands of dollars at the drop of hat for me nor would that be something I would brag about. I don’t look at a man’s bank account to determine whether he’s worthy of my time. I cannot be bought with a Chanel purse, a Benz or a pair of Louboutins. I’m not an object that can be exchanged for another object.

3. I respect service workers but I am not one

Yes, there are Asian females who are cleaners and nannies; some work at nail salons and child care centres. I have the utmost respect for these occupations. 

I am not a service worker. Don’t treat me like one. Don’t assume I am because it highlights your racial bias in believing Asian women are second-class citizens.

4. I’m not an exotic geisha

I read Memoirs of A Geisha when I was in high school and then I saw the movie. I have to admit that the story is beautifully written; however, it objectifies Asian women as exotic and sensual beings that exist in some sick erotic fantasy. Then when I found out it was written by a white American male author, it just made me feel icky and gross all over.

5. I don’t like to be called cute

I am smaller than the average North American woman but it doesn’t mean I like to be called cute. Cuteness is associated with child-like innocence and naivety; therefore, it’s like being objectified as a toy, doll or another inanimate thing. 

I don’t value cuteness. I am a strong mama bear who will fiercely protect her cubs with her sharp claws.

Humans come in all shapes and sizes. When expectations are set for how a group of people should or shouldn’t look depending on their race and gender, it exacerbates discrimination against them. 

6. I’m not a bad driver

Let’s take a look at the statistics. The three main reasons behind car accidents are: 

1. Speeding

2. Impaired driving

3. Distracted driving

I drive at the speed limit. I don’t care who is sitting in my car. It’s safety before anything else. I do not drink or smoke. I do not go on my phone when I drive. I’ve never received a single ticket for any of these. I can parallel park on a busy street with two screaming, hungry kids in the back and a trunk full of frozen groceries without flinching. 

Here’s a study that proves it. 

7. I’m not a “Dragon Lady”

I’m not cold and untrustworthy. I don’t manipulate people or deceive others to get what I want. I don’t use sex as a weapon to gain power. This one is just ridiculous and beyond offensive. I don’t need to say more.

8. I’m not a quiet worker bee

I’m not passive, docile, subservient, agreeable or any other adjective that makes it seem like I don’t stand up for myself or that I am easy to control.

I have a strong work ethic but I don’t just put my head down and do the work without speaking up. I say no to anything that is beyond my workload or outside my scope, role and responsibility. I set boundaries and I keep them. Before agreeing to work on anything, I ask a bunch of questions to be clear about what it entails. That’s called being professional. 

9. I am not invisible

I have a voice, a face and opinions. I stand up as a leader to share my experiences so that other Asian women feel heard. As a writer and content creator, I use my skills and talent to be vocal, telling real and authentic stories to empower individuals to do the same. 

Whether a stereotype is true for an individual or not, it contributes to the discrimination and oppression of Asian women and perpetuates the invisibility and marginalization that they face on a professional and personal level.

It’s time to make the invisible visible so that these stereotypes die for the next generation.

So Readers, what are some stereotypes that you think need to die?