Our Asian immigrant parents’ worked the 9-5 to put food on the table. How can they understand that you can make a living from your side hustle?
The other day, I was picking up my daughter from my parents’ place when I get an email from Medium saying that I made a bit of money last month from writing.
Holy shit! The Medium Writers Program only pays if your stuff is read enough to reach their threshold. So, the better writer you are, the more money you get paid.
I had a moment of self-validation. People want to pay for my writing! I am good enough and people want to read what I want to write. The dream of doing what I love and living off it was slowly (very slowly) coming into fruition. Every dollar in my pocket was a dollar I never thought was possible.
I was incredibly proud of myself. It wasn’t a lot of money but still…I was happy about it.
So when I entered my parents’ house, I wanted to share my joy with them. I was mentally prepared for their unimpressed response, expecting a blank stare of indifference, possibly a nod to confirm they understood…well at least I thought I was.
I whip out my phone and show my mom the numbers.
Her response,
“That’s not even enough to pay for groceries…barely a meal. This is how you think you’ll make a living?”
When your Asian parents emotionally invalidate you…you don’t take that shit to heart, man.
First, you take it in, embrace the moment and tell the whole fucking world by writing a blog post about it, holding yourself accountable to the people who do support you.
Next, you make a vow to respond differently to your kids. So that when the time comes for them and they approach you with the little money they made pursuing their passion, you are reminded of the time your mom undermined your sense of accomplishment. You won’t downplay their efforts; you will support them, encouraging them to keep going, reassuring them that it gets better (because hopefully, it already has for you).
Lastly, you muster enough self-confidence to break through their words of disappointment, not letting them damper the strides your making in your pursuit of fulfillment, not survival.
Ultimately, it’s about proving to yourself that you are a decent writer and that you can do what you were taught was impossible, convinced it was an elusive dream throughout your whole life.
So from the bottom of my broken heart (cue Britney)…it would mean the world to me if we could prove my mom wrong together. I can eventually use the money I earn to take her out for Dim Sim, a lobster dinner and then pay for her Yoga pass.
And you can help me by getting a copy of my new book, coincidently titled, “How To Deal With Asian Parents”.
Evidently, I still struggle with them even though I wrote the book. It’s an ongoing work in progress.
Use my book as a conversation starter with your parents, providing evidence that it is possible to live to work instead of working to live.
Even if you can’t support it or you don’t resonate with the messages because you have a wonderful relationship with your parents…you could share it with a friend 🙂
On Amazon now:
eBook – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0855NGS8Z
Paperback – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0857C16ZK
So Readers, how did your parents react when you told them about your side hustle?
