From baby boomers to Generations x, y, z, can we really understand one another?
My parents’ generation was more traditional. They were more conservative. Their parents were more strict. The didn’t grow up with screens and they didn’t raise us with screens. They didn’t have instant access to information at their fingertips.
They couldn’t Google “How do I manage my emotions?” or “How do I stop yelling at my kids?” or “Is it normal that I don’t like my parents?”
They just did a lot of trial and error. And if they were curious enough, they could go to the library and physically look it up…assuming there was an actual book on the topic of interest.
So can we find common ground despite growing up in a different time and place?
The other day, my daughter was watching Paw Patrol on Netflix when that notification came up where it asks, “Are you still watching?”
I realized she had been watching TV for over an hour. Guilt set in. I immediately turn it off and got her playing with a puzzle or something (you know, some activity that doesn’t rot the brain according to those parenting blogs).
Then it dawned on me,
“How much TV did I watch when I was a kid?”
I remember it was A LOT. I would come home from school and if I didn’t have extracurricular activities, I would sit my ass down and watch until dinner.
Did my mom feel guilty about that?
So I asked her.
First, I had to explain what feeling guilty meant and surprisingly, she knew the word in Chinese ( 愧疚 ).
Her response was,
“No, I didn’t feel guilty because I didn’t think it was bad.
Then I explained to her about how it’s important to spend quality one-on-one time with your kids instead of putting them in front of a screen. It helps develop their social skills and deepen the connection you have with them…blah blah blah.
She responds,
“Nowadays, your generation has access to all this research on the best ways to parent. There’s so much pressure to follow these rules and so you feel guilty for not following them.
We didn’t. We just did what we thought was right. What’s done has been done. You turned out fine.”
And at that moment, my mom and I had found common ground; we both are parenting in a way that was right for us. I felt less guilty about screen time and she empathized with me about the modern pressures of being a parent.
The Generation Gap isn’t the only thing that divides us
Even if we shared the same age, gender, socioeconomic status, occupation etc…we will always have differences in opinions.
From how to parent, religion and politics, once an opinion is shared, it’s inevitable someone will get offended.
The Baby Boomers think Millennials need to stop being so sensitive and getting offended so easily, that not everything needs to be “politically correct.”
Millennials think the Baby Boomers need to open up and stop holding things in, that they just don’t understand enough about the social issues of this generation.
How can we find the balance between getting too offended and not getting offended enough?
I don’t think there is.
It’s about appreciating and understanding why someone may have those beliefs, that people have varying levels of empathy and self-awareness to be able to communicate their feelings properly when they are offended or have offended others.
It’s finding common ground with the person, asking questions, actively listening, paraphrasing their words, validating their points and giving them the opportunity to provide context. You can still disagree with them and they can still disagree with you. However, it doesn’t mean you don’t understand each other.
So Readers, what is the biggest difference that you see between your generation and the older generation? What about the younger generation?
