WHEN YOU’RE TRYING FOR A BABY AND YOU GET YOUR PERIOD (HOW TO MANAGE GETTING BAD NEWS)

You don’t always have to be positive and happy. It’s okay not to be okay all the time.

Ever feel down? Like giving up? Shitty?

My husband and I have been trying for a second baby for some time now and there was this month when I got my period and I got extremely disappointed.

I realized I was coping with these feelings by minimizing them.

As a recovering perfectionist, I am always aware of the expectations that I set for myself. It’s not that I don’t set them high, I just make sure they are realistic, trusting myself that I can manage if I don’t meet them.

I reassured myself that I did everything I possibly could. I treated myself with kindness.

I told myself this is something I could not have controlled, reminding myself to not be so hard on myself. I practiced gratitude.

I glazed over the details of what happened because I thought the quicker I could change my mindset, the quicker I could apply the learnings and the quicker those feelings could be “corrected.”

I did all those things but I didn’t feel any better.

I still felt like shit.

What was I missing?

I forgot to feel. I jumped into problem-solving without fully understanding the problem. I wanted to be “perfect” at feeling better.

It’s as though my perfectionism had returned, this time disguised within my own recovery mechanism.

What I needed was to give myself permission to have a bad day.

And on this day, I got to be bad, like take a day off parenting duties, scream at the top of my lungs, “life isn’t fair fuck this shit”, self-loathe, drown myself in sorrows

Then, the next day, I started my tactics for managing my expectations.

We all experience disappointment, pain, suffering, and loss.

That’s why we like and share positive daily affirmations, read self-help books, listen to inspirational talks, watch motivational videos etc. We google the best ways to manage our issues. We want to solve, solve, solve.

And it’s absolutely wonderful we have access to all this. I’ve come to the realization that it is only when we fully feel the entire spectrum of emotions that we can realize how fallible we are as a human being.

And it’s at that point of humility where we can truly understand gratitude, practice self-compassion, forgive ourselves and others, and change our mindset to feel better.

So take a moment to feel the bad shit. And I’ve included a free bad day permission slip as part of all the exclusive content you’ll get when you sign up for free on my site.

What do you when you have a bad day?

Let me know in the comments below

If you have any ideas for topics you’d like me to talk about, leave in the comments below!